The Rocking 30's: David Meek

I don't remember the moment we met, but my first memory of Dave Meek is crashing on sleeping bags together in an empty office in Quebec City. That was 2001, and we were there with dozens of other Bard student activists to protest the dubious Free Trade Area of the Americas (FTAA) meetings that turned the city into a walled off, feudal warzone. Since then, we have shared many other memories together, at Bard and beyond, and have been close friends for a full decade now. In 2005, I introduced him to another dear friend, Jo Weaver, and two years later I was a groomsman in their wedding. I continue to cherish my friendship with both of Dave and Jo. They will always feel close by, even if they are perpetually thousands of miles away.  

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Having turned 30 going on two years ago now, it's interesting to reflect on what at the time seemed like an ominous and exciting milestone. I very distinctly remembered all the excitement and buildup surrounding the passing of that day (and its unsurprising but still a surprise “surprise party”). And all my friends joking that I was officially over the hill.....

At the time, married, in the midst of a Ph.d. program, with a house, dog and mortgage, I wondered whether they were right....(was I over the hill?) and then I decided, and still believe, that the late 20's/early 30's sure feel like I'm dab smack on top of the hill. And damn the view is good!

For me, this time has been one about perspective. Not so much a perspective focused on the immediate moment as perhaps those heady early 20s were, but about a longer perspective in which the present is very much valued, as the best time one has available to achieve one's dreams. To begin with, each of those previously mentioned things, which some might see as artifacts of dreaded Responsibility, including our most recent decision to have a baby while living in India, I see as choices made explicitly in the present with a longer perspective in mind (check out our blog for critical ruminations on the intersections of family life and academia). While each of those responsibilities might be shied away from, they've all had incredibly positive aspects, such as having a house has given me the opportunity to tear up the front yard and set up a massive urban garden.

From my perspective, those late 20's/early 30's have felt like a prolonged music jam session. Whether it is being semi-permanently nomadic, living in Brazil and now India as Jo and I conduct our Ph.d. research, or explore building community through urban gardening, it's been one exciting ride. Partially, these last few years have felt like an ongoing jam, because I made the decision that I was tired of wanting to learn to play music, and there was no time like the present to make good on that interest. Since going down the musical road, playing music has become an integral part of my daily life, and there is always three or four instruments within easy reach. All of those musings are to say, the top of the hill is great, but make sure you bring an instrument to provide your own theme song.

My Thirty: Leah Harrington

Some people in my graduating high school class may always associate Leah Harrington with the superlative section of the "Nauset Tides" yearbook from our senior year. With her huge smile, recently shaved head, and hip-before-their-time thick-framed glasses, the 1999 photo of Leah, and her male counterpart, was accompanied by the title: Most Dramatic. Or perhaps it was Drama King and Queen? Regardless, I will always think of Leah as one of the most interesting and fun people I have known, and had the pleasure of being friends with, in high school and beyond.

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This is not what I thought it was going to be. It never is. I thought my thirty was going to be all urbanistic, unruly and controversial. Instead I am a preschool teacher, I’m married, I have a baby, and a dog.  All I need is the white picket fence. I thought my thirty was going to be old. My thirty looks better than any other year in my life. I am so much stronger--physically and otherwise--than I ever thought I could be. And I’m on Cape Cod. Where I grew up. The LAST place I thought I’d spend my thirty. This fact is not to be confused with Disappointment. I did jump the canal long enough to understand I did like the Cape, I just needed to contribute to my community rather than expect it to meet all of my adolescent needs. I am surrounded by these incredible people that were hiding for years, and this includes my family. Where WERE you guys? The average age of my circle is actually more around 35 or 40, and I’ve got to say, 40 doesn’t look so bad. You can still be artistic and irreverent and silly and sexy and young, the only difference is you give that much less of a fuck what other people think about you. My thirty is just that. Finally approaching the place where other people’s opinions don’t affect your sense of self. 

Don’t be complacent. Don’t be judgmental. Love with abandon and let go of the people who hold themselves--and you--back. I have so much more to learn, and so much more to grow. I think I’m going to like forty.

So I have a baby, and I thought I’d write more. This is what I have to offer…