Welcome to 360 Months

This is a space for sharing experiences and feelings around turning 30. From people who are approaching this milestone with anticipation and uncertainty to those who have recently passed the 3 decade mark with a warm embrace, 360 Months is an opportunity to challenge dominant social expectations of this marker of adulthood. It is also a chance to ignite new conversations amongst peers in the struggle to make sense of, and even celebrate, growing older.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Things it took me until 30 to learn: Monica Elkinton

Two memories stick out when I think of Monica Elkinton; one during college and one from after we graduated. The first was on “Pi Day,” (3.14) 2003. In addition to being a political activist, Monica was a mathematics major at Bard and invited me to the Math Club’s Pi(e) Party that day. I delightfully ate as many pizza slices and fruit pie as my body could process. I maintained a friendly conversation with Monica as her peers looked at me with scorn as a party crasher. Then the following year, Monica and I both found ourselves in Madison, Wisconsin. I had moved there to immerse myself in the city’s legacy of post-capitalist counter-institutions, while she arrived later to intern at the state’s supreme court for law school. The day after Bush was re-elected Monica invited me to see a Beasties Boys concert, to dance away the inevitable sorrows of the ensuing four years. This is all to say, thank you. She is now a public defender in Alaska, continuing to change the world.
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1. Every day is a blessing.
2. How to buy a house. And what the heck mortgage insurance is.
3. Turns out staying up all night debating philosophy is not a good quality in a romantic partner after all. Doing the dishes and supporting me in my decisions is way better.
4. A taste for very dry wine.
5. That I could be dropped in any city in the world by myself, and make a good adventure out of it.
6. That everyone else is just as scared as I am.
7. The best way to be a friend is to listen.
8. The second best way to be a friend is to have been there.
9. How to invest, and what I will need to retire. (Whoa. Yes.)
10. That if you like your job, then overtime and weekends mean nothing.
11. There is more to you than your job or career.
12. Email, twitter, and facebook can never make up for phone calls and visiting people in person.
13. One-night stands don't make you feel very good.
14. Healthy food actually does.
15. And sleep.
16. Greasy food and beer make your stomach hurt. Maybe that's because it's bad for you.
17. That my parents were making it up as they went along.
18. To buy a slightly used car: not a new one, and not a clunker.
19. That you can try to alter your attitude with whatever chemicals you want, but the people that love you, love the sober you.
20. Being around family is important.
21. That joining the Board means you'll be expected to give a large donation.
22. That I am not an athlete, and that I never will be. Some of us just can't move that way. The closest I will get is to dance. Mostly to folk music.
23. Little kids are awesome. And that we have so much to learn from those younger than us.
24. If making art or music is what you need to stay sane, then for God's sake, do it, even if you're not someone else's idea of “good” at it. If you have fun, and it colors your world, then you're good enough.
25. That I love living in a racially diverse community.
26. With the right time commitment, you are capable of learning any skill you want to learn.
27. How to live on your own time frame. Your urgent doesn't have to be someone else's urgent.
28. Sharing a meal with loved ones is simply the best thing to do.
29. We are all human.
30. All humans respond to a smile from another human. 

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